Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Score: 8/10

Length: 95

Language: English

Catergories: recent, 2000s, recommended, zombie, monster, werewolf, ghost, murderer, horror comedy

I have yet to meet someone who didn’t enjoy or at least appreciate the magic wonder that is this movie. Sigourney Weaver in a pastel pantsuit, every horror creature imaginable, cliche (on purpose) characters at a cabin, and amazing twists splattered throughout the movie. I saw this in theatres, and I was speechless.

photo credit: http://images6.alphacoders.com/307/307538.jpg

House of Wax (2005)

Score: 7/10

Length: 113

Language: English

Categories: 2000s, remake, murderer

I liked this movie, and I don’t even care what you think about me. YES, it has Paris Hilton with her super lametastic death scene. YES the special effects are so bad you will probably laugh out loud. YES the acting is crazy cheesy, especially from that greasy black-haired dude but also from the One Tree Hill-esque cast. But if you aren’t looking to actually be scared, it’s a really fun remake with original scenes and effects. The part that was truly horrifying though, was when Elisha Cuthbert slides face first into a pit of rotting animal corpses.

photo credit: http://www.tasteofcinema.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/2005-House-Of-Wax.jpg

28 Days Later (2002)

Score: 8/10

Length: 113

Language: English and zombie

Sequel: 28 Weeks Later (2007)

Categories: 2000s, zombie, recommended

Helloooo Cillian Murphy’s penis. I mean…  this is a great movie. It really is though. Those coked-out monkeys are scary as hell, and I much more enjoy this (uncommon at the time of release) idea of a rage virus-infected zombie over a freshy-risen-from-the-grave zombie. Great flow to the movie, and well thought-out storyline that keeps you in mild fear throughout the movie. The end wasn’t awful either, just a set-up for a part 2. 

photo credit: http://cdn4.thisisinfamous.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/28days.jpg

The Ring (2002)

Score: 8/10

Length: 115

Language: English

Categories: remake, ghost, 2000s, recommended, murderer

The movie that started the Japanese remake craze, this one is near and dear to my heart, as it happens on my birthday. I also have the same creepy mirror in my basement that I used to stand in front of while combing my hair. I am also very afraid of black horses and of falling down a well (as everyone should be). The movie is about a girl who was chucked into a well by her mother and now has come back in TV pixel ghost form to wreak havoc and in the hopes someone will uncover her story. Young adults find the video while vacationing in a cabin and once they watch the video (which is a serious of black and white clips) they receive a phone calls telling them they have seven days to live. Now it’s a race against time for a mother and her accomplice to find out how to stop Samara before the seven days run out. Some parts are of course cheesy, but the actual video played on the tape is seriously scary, and the acting for the most part is good. I would love to see that stringy-haired girl crawling at me in 3D on the big screen.

photo credit: 

http://static.squarespace.com/static/53323bb4e4b0cebc6a28ffa2/t/53f6a486e4b0572e5603e870/1408672904960/

Season of the Witch (2011)

Score: 1/10

Length: it feels like very long, but it’s only 95 mins

Language: English (probably)

Categories: painful movie mondays, almost horror, recent, 2000s, witch

Two words: Nicolas Cage. If I was to just give this score for the awesomeness that is Nicolas Cage in everything, it would be 9/10. Unfortunately, I scored this as a real, live horror movie, supposedly about a witch hunt. Well, at least it gave me a good chuckle. Excuse me while I finish putting on my Nic Cage- patterned pyjamas.

Wolf Creek (2005)

Score: 7/10

Length: 99

Language: English

Sequel: Wolf Creek 2

Categories: 2000s, murderer, gore porn, foreign

The first time I watched this movie I was all alone in my house cowering under the blankets. It’s not only based off a true story, but they spend half the movie just getting you to really invest in the characters with nothing scary happening. So when all the horrible shit happens later in the movie, you feel like it’s almost happening to your friends. The middle-of-nowhereness the characters end up (set in the Australian outback) such as in movie like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Wrong Turn, makes it very hard to watch without that feeling of dread, because you know there’s no one around to save them.

photo credit: http://asset.ninemsn.com.au/img/000/000/196/398/wolfcreek.jpg

Dead Snow (2009)

Score: 8.5

Length: 90

Language: Norwegian

Sequel: Dead Snow: Red vs Dead (2014) (Dod Sno 2)

Categories: recent, 2000s, recommended, foreign, zombie

Other titles: Dod Sno (Norway)

I had the pleasure of seeing this movie at the film festival. There was a line-up down the street, and even though I was late, I managed to get great seats. The film was awesome for two reasons: First, it was scary. Imagine staying at a cabin, during a snowy winter in the middle of nowhere, and a group of giant, zombie Nazis come up over a hill. Terrifying. Secondly, this movie somehow managed to be laugh-out-loud hilarious. A must see.

photo credit: http://imageserver.moviepilot.com/dead-snow-2-dead-snow-nazis-in-the-zombie-genre.jpeg?width=1600&height=900

The Skeleton Key (2005)

Score: 8/10

Length: 104

Language: English

Categories: 2000s, recommended, ghost

I love this movie. One of the very few “horror on the bayou” movies out there, filled with voodoo, ghosts, and dark twists. I’d love to watch this while eating chicken and waffles or alligator and cornbread, as it makes you feel like you’re right in the south with them. It’s a story about a nurse (Kate Hudson) who uncovers the secrets of the townspeople and of her sick, old patient who won’t speak, at a plantation in New Orleans.

photo credit: http://images2.fanpop.com/images/forum/43000/43320_1254555909217_full.jpg

The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)

Score: 4/10

Length: 77

Language:English

Categories: 80, murderer, girly

Sequels: The Slumber Party Massacre II (1987) & III (1990)

So there’s, like, the teen girls who are having a so totally awesome eighties sleepover… and then everyone dies. It’s not bad for a retro slasher, but the killer has no story except that he really enjoys his electric screw and he goes around just recklessly killing everyone in sight. I am also upset over the fact the title has the word “sleepover” in it, because I see no changing room montages or makeovers being had. It’s an okay movie to watch at a slumber party when no one is really paying attention. (And don’t worry boys, this isn’t just for girls! This movie has A LOT of boobs.)

photo credit: http://cdn.filmschoolrejects.com/images/slumberpartylist.jpg

1408 (2007)

Score: 7/10

Length: 104

Language: English

Categories: ghosts, psychological, 2000s

A movie about a man who stays at a hotel to see if he can gather any ghostly sighting for his book, this movie would be excellent to see while staying at a hotel. It has all the right stuff- ghosts, mind-play, intricate themes, John Cusack in a Stephen King movie, and is overall an exciting, even re-watchable movie. I especially liked when Mike Enslin thought he had escaped only to find his mind falling apart all over again in broad daylight.

photo credit: http://www.mirroredmind.com/blog/1408/1408_5.jpg