Black Christmas (1974), 98 mins
Another slow 70’s movie, but this time I was actually interested in the side stories and unique and comical characters. Picturing myself in the sorority girls’ house with a psycho in the attic seems incredibly frightening. Being from the 70’s there was a lot of totally rad fashion (the fur coats) and furniture, and I thought the movie itself had a nice flow to it. What I could have done without was the women hearing the slightest sound and then calling the cat, Claude, for half an hour. I don’t know about you, but I think anyone with a cat knows that you shake a bag of treats and it’ll come running. Also, how hard is it to just leave the house and follow instructions?? And why was the whole house never checked by anyone? Infuriating. I liked the ending, and am surprised there was no sequel, but I wish they would have explained the killer’s story at least a little bit.
Black Christmas (2006), 84 mins
Andrea Martin who plays Phyl in the original, comes back as Mrs Mac in the remake. I liked that the movie slightly followed the original (making a point to include details such as the glass unicorn) but focussed more on the story of the killer. It even made it more Christmassy (though I still don’t get where the ‘black’ comes from… the only black person in either of these movies is the asylum guard). I really wish it wasn’t so dumb, but that was a give-away as soon as I saw the actress from Mean Girls. You get to a point where you’re like “Are these bitches dead yet??” Some things in the movie are even just obviously wrong- *69 doesn’t call the number back, that’s redial, you bunch of baby-voiced sorority idiots! And what’s with the eyeballs and the girl who looks like she just came off the set of White Girls? I mean, it had potential, but the longer it went on, the more ridiculous it got.
Categories: 70s, 2000s, murderer, Christmas, Painful Movie Mondays
Verdict: It’s a shocker, I know, but the original is the winner. Simply for lack of stupidity.
1976 version: 6/10
2006 version: 3/10
photo credit: http://thatwasabitmental.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/black-christmas-pic-1.jpg
Categories: murderer, 70s, recommended
A really underrated movie about a series of murders that occur with a child as a potential suspect. Twelve year old Alice is played superbly by a 19 year old Paula Sheppard who has only acted in two films in her career, this one included. It’s a little slow at times as per most 70’s films, and has a few too many characters which I noticed they tried clarify to the audience, as all of the ‘A’ names got confusing after awhile. Complete with a twist ending that caught me off guard, and some really unique characters, this is probably the best horror film focussed on a child apart from The Exorcist. The director has recently talked about a remake starring Kathryn Morris.
photo credit: http://cdn1.denofgeek.us/sites/denofgeekus/files/alice_1.jpg
Language: English and lots of heh heh hehing
Categories: horror comedy, 2000s, monster, Christmas
Gary Busey plays a psychotic killer who comes back to life as a gingerbread man. I’ll say it again. GARY BUSEY PLAYS A PSYCHOTIC KILLER WHO COMES BACK TO LIFE AS A GINGERBREAD MAN. And he’s not even human-sized, he’s the size of a cookie. Fluffy, spicy, and most of all, simply ridiculous, this is a Christmas-horror must see (while eating gingerbread cookies). And I must say, I am thrilled to watch both Gingerdead Man 2: The Passion of the Crust (which may be the most hilarious movie title I’ve ever heard) and Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver.
photo credit: http://whatculture.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/FIFA13_WiiU_thumb-600×3001-500×250.jpg
Categories: monster, 80s, horror comedy, Christmas
It all started in Chinatown… and when you buy a gift for someone in Chinatown, there are always strange rules that come with it, such as ‘no food after midnight’! About a cute kid who of course breaks all the rules and endures the “horrors” of the evil-turned mogwais aka Furbies-turned-dragon. A very unusual and special Christmas movie, (and tis the season…) but not so much one for the horror files, although it is upsetting seeing all the mean things they do to the ugly-cute little ball of fur. A little bit of horror, comedy, and sci-fi, this is a classic 80’s favorite, and probably would have been one of my favorite movies if I was 10 years older.
Also check out Gremlins 2: The New Batch!
photo credit: http://www.syfy.fr/sites/syfy.fr/files/assets/gremlins.jpg