The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death (2014)

Score: 5/10

Length: 98

Language: English and mumbling

Categories: 2000s, recent, haunted house, ghost, murderer

As the first was about a man come to Eel Marsh house to do some paperwork, this is about two women and a group of children come to stay at the house to escape the disasters of war and to instead encounter the disasters of ghost. Good ole Blacky Lurk is popping up everywhere in her favorite places, creating the only jump scares in the movie. I enjoyed the children and the main characters in the story more than the original’s one character focus, and although both films had similar “everything is awesome” endings, they luckily also did an amazing job of set and atmosphere. There was a bit of thudding heartbeat tension, but I couldn’t help feeling like I was waiting for more to happen. The grey and the fog seem to take over the movie making it feel more like a bad flu than an action-packed horror scare. It’s worth a watch on a rainy day, but you can’t have the same scare expectations as you did for the first film.

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Poltergeist (2015)

Score: 4.5/10* (+1 for being in 3D)

Length: 93

Language: English

Categories: recent. 2000s, remake, ghost, haunted house

This was the best Goosebumps episode I’ve ever seen! I mean… it was okay for a horror movie. It was super fun and entertaining to watch, but they missed a few of the best parts of the original and it all seemed to happen too quickly. It unfortunately had one of my most hated movie flaws- characters under-reacting to an insane situation. I also didn’t love how the very very end of the movie was put together- it was just lazy with excess film. On the other hand, I really enjoyed the effects and the imagination behind how the “otherworld closet”  was done. The acting wasn’t too painful, excusing the ho-hum reactions issue. You really have to go into this wanting to have a good time at the movies as opposed to wanting to be actually scared. The tension is short-lived, and this remake of a classic poltergeist story is just like the original in many ways- it’s cheesy, a great time, and when you watch it again years later, it won’t be as good as you remembered it.

* 10/10 if it was a Goosebumps episode

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Honeymoon (2014)

Score: 4/10*

Length: 87

Language: English

Categories: recent, 2000s, woods, cabin, alien, murderer

I heard that The Craft is being remade (90’s fangirl squeal!) by the same director as this one, so I was super excited to watch it. Harry Treadaway, from Penny Dreadful, was a pleasant surprise, even though he is less sexy as regular guy than as a creepy mad scientist. I was a little afraid that the characters would be too likable and that this movie about lovers on their honeymoon would be really scary because of it (such as in The Strangers). Luckily, the female counterpart is annoying, immature, and easily disposable in my books. Once she has her little “mishap in the forest”, I find her a lot more digestible as she becomes more strange and uncertain. It’s a little hard to watch a lovey-dovey couple mush it up for an hour when you’re a horror fan. I get that they were trying to invest you in the characters, and both actors did an amazing acting job once it went from head-over-heels to horrified, but ew… love… gross. The movie had a fantastic build-up and I liked how the sense of impending doom created and attention to detail really made the story interesting, but I was let down by the explanation-free ending. It gave me a little bit but not enough. I was hoping for an explosion, and it was just a tiny spark.

*(It doesn’t deserve this low of a score, but the mushy bullshit took it down a few points)

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Jug Face (2013)

Score: 6/10

Length: 81

Language: English

Categories: recent, 2000s, murderer, woods, ghost

Strange, uncomfortable, and honestly, a little hard for me to form an opinion on. I kind of love it and hate it at the same time? I really admire creativity, and the idea was quirky without being cheesy. It reminds me of The Village. I saw the preview for this quite awhile ago while flipping through the horror section of my Video on Demand and thought it looked stupid. However, recently, I read the new Gaiman which is also about a sort of fantasy pit and thought I’d give this a try. The plot is quite interesting- a girl who lives in a hillbilly community who worship a magical pit gets herself into a bad situation when she is chosen for the pit’s next sacrifice. I liked the strange character names- Diwaii, Jessaby, Pyer- and “the shunned” boy wasn’t too ruined by bad CGI. The special effects make-up for the second sacrifice was pathetic, but other than that, it’s likablility depends on whether you can handle the weirdness of the story or not. This should be pretty obvious, but the moral of the story is don’t sleep with your brother or you will become a jug.

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Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Score: 4.5/10

Length: 90

Language: English

Categories: 80’s, murderer, woods, cabin

It’s really hard to get past the most annoying screaming child known to mankind, but if I can do it, so can you. I was looking for a summer fun sort of film, camping without being too campy, and the title seemed pretty obvious for my needs. The film itself is super eighties- full of knee socks, men’s crop tops, and shorts so short they look like bunchy tummy control underwear. Aunt Martha seemed absolutely in need of some white walls, for that hat and neck tie alone, and I’m sad I didn’t see more of her crazy in the movie. For the most part, the movie bobs along like a piece of garbage in the ocean, and it seems like it’s just another bad day at camp. Centred around a creepy girl who rarely speaks (don’t worry, you’ll remember her name) and her wannabe boyfriend at camp. Take it to the end, because last scene is all worth it, tattooed in your mind for all eternity.

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Jessabelle (2014)

Score: 6.5/10

Length: 90

Language: English

Categories: recent, 2000s, ghost, voodoo, recommended, mystery, murderer

A girl who is recovering from a car crash and is now in a wheel chair goes to stay with her dad and uncovers a secret past through her mother’s video tapes. Ghosts and voodoo galore, I (not surprisingly) enjoyed this. It relies heavily on the story and you could easily call this a romance mystery type horror. I thought the main actress did a fantastic job and the tension built was decent though sometimes got lost in the lovers. The only part I didn’t enjoy much was that the ghosts at the end didn’t have any ghostly effects and just looked like boring humans. It confused me a little as well, but I liked the twists in the story more than I didn’t like the non-effects.

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