Hospital Massacre (1981)

Score: 3/10

Length: 89

Rating: R

Language: English

Categories: 80s, murderer, slasher, psychological, holiday, asylum

Other Titles: X-Ray

It’s not a dead giveaway from the title, but I’m excited to bring you a Valentine’s Day movie! All of the other ones are easy to find as they all have the word ‘Valentine’ in the title. This has the usual plot- a girl rejects a boy’s valentine, so as an adult, he returns to kill her. People seem to be very intense when it comes to rejection. Barbi Benton is intriguing and easy on the eyes, but she’s definitely not a scream queen. At times she sounds like yowling alley cats, and not the ones from Cats: The Musical. And although I liked the tension of not really understanding what’s going on, I never did find out what really was going on besides the obvious killer dressed as a doctor. I mean, was it the norm in the eighties to be naked in order to have your heartbeat checked? It also repulsed me thinking that it was okay to smoke in a hospital and to fumigate a floor while all the other floors in the building were occupied. And in order to get your test results, did you really have to roam all over the building looking for your doctor? It’s a pretty mindless slasher, but I liked a few things- the film was shot in an abandoned hospital, and Susan Jeremy’s hair looked like it had really gone through the experience of insanely running around the building all night. I appreciate the little things. There are a lot of unanswered questions, but you just have to take it at surface level.


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