Masters of Horror: Valerie on the Stairs

Masters of Horror is a 2000s television series with a different director for each of the thirteen episodes in the season, running about an hour long.

Directed by: Mick Garris, (Sleepwalkers, Hocus Pocus [writer])

Evil Category: a dreamed-up, dominating demon

Score: one out of five paper mache men

I’ve never seen a film start at 10 and so steadily count down to 0. It just got worse and worse as it went on and ended in peak badness. This is probably going to be spoilertastic, but I need to explain it out because  I’m going to forget what happens, (it’s so forgettable) and later, wonder why I gave it such a low score. Mick Garris, again, should not be writing horror. Maybe romance, suspense, but there is nothing scary about these episodes by the same director. So we start off strong with a writer moving into a sort-of boarding house for aspiring novelists. The characters are intriguing, and the story is set. Our hero then begins seeing a (frequently) naked girl on the stairs, but each night she is pulled away -into the walls- by a lumpy green-grey demon. The writer, of course, becomes inspired and begins his book. The episode slides downhill fast when the occupants of the house are accused of bringing their strange and sick story to life in the very house they live in. It finishes with the protagonist realizing he’s the protagonist in the story-come-to-life and then… AND THEN… he dissipates as a bunch of pages. Wow. Intense…