Attack of the Killer Donuts (2016)

Score: 2.5/10

Length: 98

Rating: NR

Language: English

Categories: 2000s, food, murderer, horror comedy, almost horror, good bad

So I had braved the ice-wind to get some donuts from Tim’s. It’s not like they’re the best donuts or anything, but they’re right around the corner and Modern Jelly was closed for delivery. Although this review was started way back in winter, I still remember my numb hands frozen into a claw trying to carry this wide, flat box around the corner to my apartment. The donuts in the movie aren’t overly horror-influenced, even though they’re supposed to have tiny little flesh-ripping teeth. Besides the parts where the pastries are CGI, spinning and floating in the air, the donuts mostly spend their time looking like they’re being flung by humans, at humans. (Which us the obvious truth.) This is another cheap and corny horror flick that has a mildly fun idea that’s wasted on a lazy, humorless hour and a half of film. The cuteness is pretty watered down, and I’d be satisfied from just watching the trailer and nothing more. On the plus side, I got to pig out on donuts, and there ain’t nothing bad about that.

 

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