The ABC’s of Death (2012)

Score: 5.5/10

Length: 129

Language: English, Spanish, Japanese, German, French, Korean

Sequel: ABC’s of Death 2 (2014)

Categories: 2000s, recent, foreign, murderer, gore porn, Asian

I love the idea of this movie- directors are each given a letter of the alphabet and asked to chose a word beginning with that letter and make a horror short about it. But if I could describe it in two words, they would be F and W: fucking weird. On the plus side, in these kinds of movies there is something for everyone. The minus is that you won’t enjoy half of the stories. My favorites were: C is for Cycle, R is for Removed, T is for Toilet (claymation gore!), and X is for XXL. The ones I liked the least were: D is for Dogfight, E is for Exterminate, and P is for Pressure. My choices are based on personal choice, with no value on how good the direction was. If you are a simple kind of person who doesn’t like a bunch of random shit, this movie is not for you.

photo credit: http://imageserver.moviepilot.com/the-abcs-of-death-awesome-and-awful-a21d55d3-922e-4e41-ae84-7ca444ade9da.jpeg?width=656&height=354

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Thir13en (13) Ghosts (2001)

Score: 8.5/10

Length: 91

Language: English

Categories: 2000s, ghost, recommended, remake

If you were a 90s kid, you probably loved this movie, such as I did. I remember watching this as a teen, alone in my house, with all the blinds up and the big windows staring at me. It was super scary at the time, and I loved it so much, I made “the torso” as a sculpture in art class the following week. The movie was freaky in parts with a few jumps, but also had lots of Matthew Lillard cheese, and overall, a really creative premises. Each ghost in the house had a unique story, and when we were still watching movies on dvd, in the bonus features section were video explanations of each ghost. Extra points for using make-up and costuming to make the ghosts scary instead of lame CGI effects.

photo credit: http://www.filmosaure.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/13-fantomes-princesse.png

Martyrs (2008)

Score: 9/10

Length: 99 mins

Language: English

Categories: recent, recommended, gore porn

An extremely creative film with a disturbing storyline. It is truly horrific in every sense of the word, but this isn’t a movie to make you jump, it’s made to leave you cringing. Excellent makeup and costuming, and a twist ending that makes you wonder why all the shitty movies deserve a part 2.

photo credit: http://daveandhiscriticisms.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/185759_10150205860944012_3123445_n.jpg

The Omen (1976)

Score: 3/10

Language: English

Length: 111

Categories: devil, 70s

Slow, lame, and boring. You can really just watch the also slow, lame, and boring trailer, and that about sums up the movie. Some decent deaths but it’s supposed to be about a boy who is the devil, however, it doesn’t appear he is even actually doing anything. Really, it could all be chalked up to accidents and crazy people. The newer one is even worse.

photo credit: http://filmireland.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/001_Damien_The_Omen.jpg