Ghost Stories (2019)

Score: /10

Length: 144

Rating: Mature (Netflix)

Language: English

Categories: 2000s, Hindi, Bollywood, anthology, murderer, monster, ghost

There are a lot of films with this name, so don’t get confused- this is the Bollywood horror anthology film on Netflix. The same directors who worked on Lust Stories share four creepy tales. A few things you need to keep in mind- Bollywood is known for elaborate action films and romances with loads of singing and dancing. It’s not known for its horror films and rightfully so- they don’t compare to the actual horrors we see in most North American, European, and Asian films, they’re more like spooky bed time stories. So take that horror genre categorizing with a huge grain of salt. And maybe some cilantro.

The segments don’t have titles so I’m just going to make them up and review them separately.

The Old Lady – A young woman is a caretaker for an elderly, bed-ridden lady. Strange things happen in the house at night, and eventually, the nurse happens upon a horrible secret which she smelled from the start.

Egg Envy – An almost black and white story about an expecting mother, a jealous child, and feathery fears of a miscarriage.

Monster Meal – I suppose a zombie movie, but more with monsters. Most of the humans are still turning, however, our main monster looks a lot like Harry the sasquatch from Harry and the Hendersons.  Funny enough, this is probably the scariest segment, due to some of the frightening acting by the affected-humans. A man visits a small town and finds two children to be the sole survivors of some sort of mutation that turns humans into apelike creatures with bad eyesight who eat humans.

Granny’s Blessing – The final film is strange and not scary, but definitely quirky. An attractive couple plan an arranged marriage, but the wife-to-be has second thoughts after learning that her fiance is obsessed with his dead grandmother.

Bhoot (2003)

Score: 4.5/10

Length: 113

Language: Hindi

Categories: 2000s, foreign, Asian, ghost, haunted house, murderer

I have yet to see a believable, scary Bollywood horror, but that does not mean they aren’t awesome. This film that sounds like a really fast ‘boot’ (this does not help its scare factor) actually means ghost in Hindi. It’s about a couple who move into a haunted apartment. Annnnd the girl thinks she’s crazy, always seeing these ghosts; she goes to a psychiatrist blah blah the ghost possesses her and wants revenge uhuh uhuh… but somehow, Bollywood makes this seem quirky and fun. There are lots of early 2000s peasant blouses as well as weird camera angles around a strange and wonderful geometric apartment. The ghost woman was scary because of her eyes and little else, but you forget what all the other women look like after seeing Rhekha anyway. The length really sucks the scare out of the movie and the demon freak-out noises are almost unbearably bad. Somehow, I still managed to like it. The ending does a great job of proving that all you need to do is calmly talk to your ghost, and eventually, she’ll come around.

photo credit: http://img01.ibnlive.in/ibnlive/uploads/2012/10/horrorrgv-2.jpg

Pizza (2014)

Score: 7/10 (for people wanting a scary horror, 5/10)

Length: 107

Language: Hindi

Categories: 2000s, recent, foreign, almost- horror, ghost

This is an amazing Bollywood movie about pizza if you love Bollywood. And it doesn’t really matter if you like pizza or not. But you better like phones, because there are tonnes of them ringing and being answered constantly. The entire movie is an ad for phones. It’s about a handsome pizza boy who lives in an adorable apartment with his pregnant girlfriend. One night, on a pizza delivery, he enters a haunted house. That’s all I really want to tell you about it, because as many dramatic B-wood films, it has a wonderful twist and story. Not really horror, per se, but quirky and creative, and worth a shot. Really a shame I didn’t get to see it in 3D, what a full package that would have been. Best line in the film: “Boss has his fingers in many pies. Who knows what toppings he’s offered to which gods!”

photo credit:http://mastitube.cc/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/pizza-3d-hindi-movie.jpg