Top Ten Horror-Comedies

I may love French romance-comedies and horrors of all sorts, but horror-comedy is my true favorite genre. So as you can imagine, it was really hard to narrow it down to just ten fantastic films. I could have easily done twenty, but I like a challenge. This list is not of the movies I think deserve to be labelled as the best per se, but they are my personal choices based on preference. (Which is why you might see a lack of zombie movies on here. There are great movies out there, but I just want a very small teaspoon of zombie in my horror cereal.) Here are my favorite, funniest, fright-filled films accompanied by their snack pairings, because nothing goes better together than fear, laughter, and sugar.

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10. Dead Alive or Braindead (1992)

I don’t even know quite how to describe this movie, but there are definitely some very scarring scenes included in this memorable monstrocity. Zombies, rats, blood, gore, and disgusting monster babies… this is for sure one to watch on a first date.

Snacks: Well, to be honest, probably nothing, but chips sound like a safe option.

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9. Snarknado (2013)

Lame CGI, C-list actors, and a ridiculous plot- this one’s got it all! Several spin offs were created based on this films crazy, creature creation. It doesn’t really make any sense, but it’s action-packed and loads of fun to see these over-dramatic actors battle sharks whipping around in a tornado.

Snacks: if you don’t live in Iceland and can’t get fermented shark, try a shark or whale-shaped candy instead from your local 711.

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8. The Gingerdead Man (2005)

One of my favorite Christmas movies, if not just for the title of the original, and more importantly, the sequels (Passion of the Crust, Saturday Night Cleaver). Gary Busey is a serial-killer-turned-cookie who creepily, and kind of cutely, stalks the girl who sent him to the electric chair. It’s barely over an hour, so it’s not much to chew through.

Snacks: gingerbread men, obviously, and perhaps a holiday beverage of sorts

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7. Scary Movie (1996)

This is an iconic nineties movie that mocks a bunch of classic, popular horror movies. It spawned loads of other comedy copycat films that were all pretty bad cheese-fests, but a few have the potential to squeeze a laugh out of you. This film in particular pokes fun at Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, The Blair Witch, The Exorcist, and a whole slew of others including unscary films as well. Holding it all together is a story about a teenager being stalked by a slasher-killer.

Snacks: I’d be funny and say mashed potatoes (from the scene in Scary Movie 2), but I’d also like to recommend a snack you’re actually going to eat, so how about Jiffy Pop and a batch of special brownies.

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6. Cabin in the Woods (2012)

This quirky, sarcastic, horror movie turned out to be a surprise hit. It’s the usual crew of young adults vacationing at a cabin in the woods. I’m not going to ruin anything, but if you know nothing about this film, I suggest you watch it continuing to know nothing about it beforehand. It’s imaginative and unexpected at every turn. The only downfall to the movie is the cheesy ending cushioned by an appearance by Sigourney Weaver.

Snacks: a good old-fashioned pizza with loads of various toppings

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5. Killer Klowns From Outer Space, 1988

Kooky karnivals klowns kausing kalamity. Characters straight off a poster and whimsical sci-fi make this lesser-known movie a kult klassic. It’s bad, but it’s also good. Nothing beats silly alien-clowns who cause havoc and terror with their popcorn guns and deadly cream pies.

Snacks: Kotton kandy and ice kream

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4. Dead Snow (Dod Sno), 2009

Another one I saw at film festival, and I’m ashamed to say that even though I OWN the second one, I still haven’t gotten around to seeing it. Here, nazi zombies (that are actually scary af) attack a group of young adults staying at a ski lodge. Dumb and extreme decisions are made, somehow resulting in laugh-out-loud hilarity. These zombies aren’t dummies that are falling apart, they’re determined, undead, soldiers on a mission. Yikes.

Snacks: hot chocolate

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3. What We Do in the Shadows, 2014

Probably one of my favorite movies of the decade- it was genuinely funny and creative, and unfortunately, that was pretty shocking to me. I wouldn’t think I’d be attracted to a film that can be described as a documentary about vampires living in New Zealand. But the characters are lovable and hilarious, the story could carry on for decades without letting go of your interest, and there is just nothing to hate about this heart warming, blood-sucking, horror-themed comedy.

Snack: fries (“chips”) or spaghetti (“worms”)

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2. The Rocky Horror Picture Show, 1975

An iconic cult film that I’m saddened is not on Broadway yet. A couple arrives to a castle where a transvestite and his alien assistants create a man, host a party, kill a biker, and sing a lot of sexy songs. It’s a musical that’s fun for everyone fun. There’s nothing better than a movie theatre or bar event where everyone dresses up and throws half of their props in the air. Look forward to a purse full of uncooked rice.

Snack: hot dogs (frankenfurters) and Hot Lips candies

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1. Troll 2, 1990 (alongside Best Worst Movie)

I saw Best Worst Movie at a film festival and then fell in love with the ridiculousness that is Troll 2 shortly afterwards. It has absolutely nothing to do with Troll 1 and the trolls are called Goblins… the words troll isn’t heard once. The town is named Nilbog, which is Goblin spelled backwards, and the goblins turn people into plant goop because they’re vegetarians. In a land where popcorn fills sexy trailers and hospitality is literally pissed on, anything can happen in this mean, green, horror-comedy machine.

Snack: corn on the cob, popcorn, green jello, green cupcakes, milk, anything vegetarian

 

Title image from House IV, another fantastic horror comedy.

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Children of the Corn (1984)

Score: 3.5/10

Length: 92

Rating: R

Language: English

Categories: 80s, murderer, Stephen Kingy, religious

First of all, did you know there are EIGHT of these films?! I haven’t seen them all, but I bet not one of them is good. I’m excited to watch movie six which is referred to as number 666 where John Franklin aka Isaac, is back as… an older adult. The original film is about a religious cult of children, led by a large-mouthed redhead and a strange little man-child (who was twenty-three in this movie playing a pre-teen), who kill adults. I mean, children are kind of scary. Look how many movies feature ghost-children. And religious cults are pretty awful as well. So there is truly potential outside of the funny food title. But, unfortunately, there’s the ending that crumbles like a stale cookie with awful green sparkly CGI and actual fire animation, repetitive angry troll-yelling, and a horribly corny script. Not to say that the rest of the movie was fantastic or anything, but it’s certainly memorable, and although not the most popular, it is a treasured horror classic.  Great to eat with some corn on the cob, popcorn, kettle corn, caramel corn, corn chowder or even candy corn if you must.

I chose to review this movie as it has something to do with one of my Halloween costumes. 😉

Top Ten Canadian Horror Films

Happy Canada 150, my fellow proud Canadians and adoring non-Canadians! Here are my favorite scary Canuck movies to watch after the fireworks, or hungover the next morning, accompanied by Canada’s top snacks.

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10. The Brood  (1979)

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One of four Cronenburg and sons films on the list, it’s about a woman driven by her psychologist to do some pretty strange things, among them, lead a brood of lumpy lawn gnome look-alikes. The skin sack is a hard image to forget, so you may want to have a couple 2-4s and mickeys on hand.

Canadian Snack: Watch a woman lick her bloody baby while you nosh on some flavour-packed Lays ketchup chips and guzzle down a spicy Caesar with a green bean.

Review here

Trailer here

 

 

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9. Terror Train (1980)

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A satisfying New Year’s Eve slasher movie about med students at a costume party held on a train who are killed off by a masked murderer. What a kerfuffle with everyone stuck on that train. Better grab your toques and runners and get a move on.

Canadian Snack: In order to stay up past midnight you’re going to need some caffeine. But since we’re on a moving train, better reach for a Coffee Crisp instead.

Review here

Trailer here

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8. The Fly (1986)

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Jeff Goldblum and Gina Davis are surrounded by a hefty helping of that goopy, slimy, eighties blood and gore. It’s pretty much every superhero story, without the superhero part, leaving just- man turns into fly, and it doesn’t go too well.

Canadian Snack: If there’s one thing that flies like, it’s sugar. So give them what they want in a sweet, buttery treat: the butter tart.

This movie doesn’t yet have a full review.

Trailer here

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7. Black Christmas (1974)

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This is a film about a woman calling for her cat, Claude… I mean… it’s about sorority girls trapped in a house with a mystery killer. And also Christmas! So it’s snowing and no one is really around to help. Better than the 2006 version by a million kilometres, but not necessarily thrilling.

Canadian Snack: Our country doesn’t really have much to do with Christmas dinner, so instead, grab a Tims double double with a maple-glazed donut for breakfast.

Review here

Trailer here

 

 

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6. Dead Ringers (1988)

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Who wouldn’t want to watch a movie about twin gynecologists addicted to drugs, both played by Jeremy Irons? I generally dislike it when a movie is two or more hours long, but I didn’t mind it in this case. Felt like I was just watching a few episodes in a row of Twin Peaks. It’s labeled as a drama / horror / thriller, but it doesn’t have the typical tension of a horror or thriller; I found it heavy on the drama end.

Canadian Snack: Nothing goes better together than a Montreal-style bagel and Montreal smoked meat.

This movie doesn’t yet have a full review.

Trailer here

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5. Antiviral (2012)

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A film about a business that offers diseases (carried by celebrities) to the public, in order to allow the fans to feel closer to the famous person they’re obsessed with. So strange, and so creative with such a fantastically interesting lead character played by Caleb Landry Jones (Get Out). Lots of drug hazes, needles galore, and so many blood-soaked white things that even Tide couldn’t clean.

Canadian Snack: Some good ole fashioned brand-name KD with a dollop of ketchup. The Canadian way.

This movie doesn’t yet have a full review.

Trailer here

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4. Cube (1997)

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Out of the three Cube movies, the first has the best ending- with a twist. A group of people are trapped in a room-filled structure, where each room has a different violent booby-trap waiting for them.

Canadian Snack: We’re too hip to be square, but a homemade nanaimo bar is to die for, and angular enough to accompany this franchise.

Review here

Trailer here

3. American Mary (2012)

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A revenge flick about a med student turned underground body modifier is American only by title.

Canadian Snack: To go with the American theme, believe it or not, the popular sushi order, California roll, was invented by a Japanese sushi chef who moved to Vancouver in the seventies.

Review here

Trailer here

2. Ginger Snaps (2000) 

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Good things come in threes, but the original of the well-known Canadian trilogy is the best. Nothing beats some simplistic teen werewolf angst, eh?

Canadian Snack: Unfortunately, ginger snaps aren’t really Canadian, so instead how bout some Chinese food? Surprisingly, ginger beef was invented right here in Calgary, AB. I think a werewolf would prefer meat over cookies anyway.

Review here

Trailer here

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1. Silent Hill (2006)

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This dreamlike fantasy horror about a mother searching for her daughter in an eerie, ash-covered town gets the top spot. This fantastic goth film is an adaptation of a survival video game and couldn’t have been done better. Around every turn is a mysterious creature, its details creatively imagined. I’d pay a lot of loonies and twoonies to see this at the theatre in 3D.

Canadian Snack: The number one spot deserves nothing but the number one Canadian food. So versatile and comforting, you can’t do better than a proper poutine.

This movie doesn’t yet have a full review.

Trailer here

 

BONUS! The legendary tv show, Are You Afraid of the Dark, is of course, also Canadian.

Looking for more? Try Pontypool, Hobo With a Shotgun, Pin, The Changeling, Videodrome, The Shrine, Prom Night. 

Goodnight Mommy (2015)

Score: 5/10*

Length: 99

Language: German

Categories: 2000s, recent, psychological, woods, foreign, murderer, SPOILERS GALORE

Stuffed into a theatre full of hipsters, stripped down to my tank top as it stayed a steady 30 degrees, I excitedly felt the film’s building dread. About twin boys whose mother returns home after having some work done on her face and doesn’t seem to be the person she was before. I’m not going to give much away, as you’ll undoubtedly spend an hour looking up what everyone has to say about every detail of this unsatisfying, plot-hole-filled film of two very different halves. The cinematography is distinct and luxurious, the scenes bright and sculpted with a simple complexity. But, oh my god, the twist was so exhaustingly obvious. Just hit me over the head with it, grind it up in a blender, and throw it in my face. Oh, there’s only breakfast for one? Oh, only one name is mentioned until halfway through the movie? Whisper, whiper, I can’t talk for myself. Ugh. I needed something else, another twist, something that had to do with the mother. I was really hoping she was someone else. The cat, the emotionless mother with no fight in her, the unexplained accident, and about twenty other details were brought in and never explained- left up to interpretation. But I can’t think of a single explanation that makes any sense, whilst including every single minute thing. Mommy did a great job of being creepy, and the boys were subtle but effective and definitely likable. Watch it, but lower your hopes first, because although the trailer is fantastic, this is no It Follows.

* (confirmed by the friend to who saw it with me)

photo credit: https://pmcvariety.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/goodnight-mommy.jpg

The Stuff (1985)

Score: 6.5/10

Length: 87

Language: English

Categories: 80s, sci-fi, horror-comedy, murderer, almost horror, good bad

I was saving this little gem for when I was able to get some good, white yogurt that resembled “the stuff”. I picked out some banana caramel (surprisingly not yellowy) Greek yogurt and spoon fed myself this fun little eighties bite of magic. Michael Moriarty is our likable 007 hero, but you also get to see a younger “Earl” from 2 Broke Girls, whose name in the movie is… Chocolate Chip.This film is about an alien goop that is marketed as dessert, but becomes addictive and then kills you from the inside. It features a few lame kill-scenes of awesomeness and charming characters. It’s also probably the inspiration for Goosebumps’ Monster Blood series and Scary Movie. The only thing that makes absolutely no sense to me is why they keep trying to burn the Jet Puffed. Are they trying to make s’mores?

photo credit: http://static1.1.sqspcdn.com/static/f/627490/18057296/1336344574933/the+stuff.jpg

Wrong Turn (2003)

Score: 3/10

Length: 84

Language: English

Categories: 2000s, cabin, woods, monster, murderer, Painful Movie Mondays

Right away I thought, Why am I even watching this. It’s my least favorite genre: disfigured forest freaks. There are SIX installments of this title. I like a good cannibal movie as much as the next horror fan, but I just can’t hop on board the disfigured inbred phenomena of the first decade of the 2000s. As I was waiting this entire movie to cringe (not thinking of it’s release year), I appreciate that there are no sexual perversions, and that it’s half silly and half gore and horror chasing. It’s not really too scary or thrilling, however, the incoming axe scene did catch me off guard and give me a jump. Starring that guy from Dexter, that guy from Six Feet Under,, and Eliza Dushku who you’ll recall with greasy, stringy hair in Bring It On. This is a watchable (R rated??) movie about a bunch of young adults who get lost in the forest, snoop about in some gross house, and then get chased around by troll mutant people.

photo credit: https://ianari.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/tumblr_mi9rexoktv1s036d2o3_1280.jpg

Dumplings (2004)

Score: 6.5/10

Length: 91

Language: Mandarin, Cantonese

Categories: Asian, 2000s, foreign, cannibalism

I watched the short of this movie in 3 Extremes (reviewed here: https://earlymorninghorrorreviews.wordpress.com/2015/02/21/three-extremes-2004/), and really enjoyed it. It seems that in order for the film to be extended, a bigger storyline was given to each character, especially the husband. The vain actress still goes to see Aunt Mei for her infamous dumplings which are promised to restore youth. But the husband finds out the secret ingredient of the dumplings and after sexing both his wife and his mistress, he spends some awkward heated sexy time confronting Aunt Mei. I was annoyed that the story was revealed at the very start instead of easing into it, and although I liked the change in the ending, I preferred the creepiness in the original over the revenge plot.

photo credit: http://images.viralnova.com/000/088/417/desktop-1414688729.jpg

Pizza (2014)

Score: 7/10 (for people wanting a scary horror, 5/10)

Length: 107

Language: Hindi

Categories: 2000s, recent, foreign, almost- horror, ghost

This is an amazing Bollywood movie about pizza if you love Bollywood. And it doesn’t really matter if you like pizza or not. But you better like phones, because there are tonnes of them ringing and being answered constantly. The entire movie is an ad for phones. It’s about a handsome pizza boy who lives in an adorable apartment with his pregnant girlfriend. One night, on a pizza delivery, he enters a haunted house. That’s all I really want to tell you about it, because as many dramatic B-wood films, it has a wonderful twist and story. Not really horror, per se, but quirky and creative, and worth a shot. Really a shame I didn’t get to see it in 3D, what a full package that would have been. Best line in the film: “Boss has his fingers in many pies. Who knows what toppings he’s offered to which gods!”

photo credit:http://mastitube.cc/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/pizza-3d-hindi-movie.jpg

Top Ten Horror Movies About Food

Food plays a main role in each of these delicious films, paired with a trailer and dinner suggestions.

1. Matango: Attack of the Mushroom People (1963) {Japanese}

Young adults are shipwrecked and end up on an island where they eat the mushrooms and then turn into mushroom people.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqaslCGn-6w

Best Served With: Just raw mushrooms and some ranch. If that’s not your thing, mushroom pizza or shitake sashimi.

2. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978), Return of the Killer Tomatoes (1988)

Scientists try to save the world from mutant tomatoes.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txfdGlxEsG8

Best Served With: tomato soup and grilled cheese or bocconcini salad

3. The Gingerdead Man (2005), Gingerdead Man 2: The Passion of the Crust (2008), Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver (2011), Gingerdeadman vs Evil Bong (2013) {Don’t you worry, I can’t not watch and review this one. Coming soon!}

A murderer comes back to life as a cookie.

Full review here: https://earlymorninghorrorreviews.wordpress.com/2014/12/18/the-gingerdead-man-2005/

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXrJIdwe8qs

Best Served With: gingerbread cookie men and milk or try a gingerbread cocktail

4. ThanksKilling (2009), 3 (2012)

A low budget movie about college kids who are terrorized by an evil killer turkey. (The cover says: Warning, boobs in the first second! So you know it’s gotta be good. Also, there is no ThanksKilling 2 which is super weird.)

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOjSRoxc6mg

Best Served With: turkey dinner, turkey meatloaf, turkey dogs roasted over a fire, or a turkey sub from Subway if you’re lazy

Don’t like turkey? Try Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006) instead with chicken substitutions.

5. Drive Thru (2007)

Horny the Clown (can’t make this shit up), the mascot of a local burger joint, begins killing teenagers.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4iIC10-UjM

Best Served With: burger and fries (with lots of ketchup), coke or milkshake or coke milkshake

6. Rumah Kentang (2012) {Indonesian}

It’s about a ghost who haunts a potato house.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNDi9FMBl74

Best Served With: a baked potato with the works

7. Troll 2 (1990)

A bunch of gremlins force people to drink chunky milk which turns them into plant slime so they can be eaten by the vegetarian monsters.

Full review here: https://earlymorninghorrorreviews.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/troll-2-1990/

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KCct4RwLNM

Best Served With: green, possibly slimy vegetables (spinach, okra, etc), corn, popcorn, green jello, cakes with green icing letters
8. The Stuff (1985)

A new mass-marketed dessert turns people into sweet, white goop-craving zombies.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cADzGsrXxs

Best Served With: vanilla yogurt, icecream, or even just Jet-Puffed marshmallow creme (which I totally bought once and ate with a spoon)

9. Dead Sushi (2012) {Japanese}

All sushi breaks loose after a crazy man injects a special serum into a squid, turning seafood against people at an Inn.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gM3t_uTGi-s

Best Served With: sushi, sashimi, or simply some tuna and rice (eat it fast, once people start barfing it up, it won’t look so good)
10. Pizza 3D (2014) {Hindi}

A delivery boy enters a haunted house. That’s all I’m going to say.

Full review here: https://earlymorninghorrorreviews.wordpress.com/2015/01/08/pizza-2014-2/

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGYXzAHjnUo

Best Served With: pizza, obviously (better if you can do a butter chicken or Indian pizza flavour)

Honorable Mention:

Thinner (1996) Just eat everything while you still can!

New recommended movies: Three … Extremes (2004) (segment: Dumplings), Dumplings (2004)

* Not in any particular order.

* This is not including any movies about Cannibalism, as I’ll save that for another list entirely. Plus, you can’t order human.

 

photo credit: (from Dead Sushi) http://cdn.bloody-disgusting.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/dead-sushi-exclusive.jpg