April Fool’s Day (1986)

Score: 6/10

Length: 89

Rating: R

Language: English

Categories: 80s, murderer, slasher, cabin, recommended

Exactly what you think it’d be, but not mundane or generic at all. This movie is about a group of rich, young adults who spend a weekend at their friend, Muffy’s mansion on April 1. There’s a killer on the loose, and through the twists and turns it’s laced an elaborate prank. A surprisingly good movie, nothing too cheesy, such as the acting or special effects. Lots of deaths and drama, with a small sprinkle of tension. There were the typical character types, but everyone was interesting and likable in their own way, especially the final two. It’s a simple movie and I think it works because the quality of each aspect is clear. The biggest issue with a movie like this (about April Fool’s Day), is that we know all the secrets of the film before we even begin, just based off the title. I’d love to see a modern remake with a different, more mysterious title. I wasn’t upset in any way by the ending, I felt it was light and fun and I was okay with that.

 

photo: http://crypticrock.com/

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Black Sunday (1960)

Score: 6/10

Length: 87

Language: English-dubbed, Italian

Categories: 60s, black and white, supernatural, murderer, devil, zombie, haunted house

Other Titles: La Maschera del Demonio, The Mask of Satan

A black and white, only slightly slow, shadowy stunner set in an old stone castle, which seems both elegant and ominous. After an uncovered tomb is found and opened, a witch wearing the mask of Satan is released. The witch and her three-musketeers-esque servant try to take over the body of the witch’s twin descendant, but are stopped by a bunch of boring white dudes and the Holy Cross, of course. Not too much to do with Satan or even witches, really, which is unfortunate. It’s a simple idea that works, but it’s just that- simple. It’s not even set on a Sunday. It’s also riddled with lots of fake (facial) hair, fainting, horrible skin rash breakouts, awkward grunting and moaning, and most of all, unnecessary explaining. The actress playing both the witch and the princess, Barbara Steele, is gorgeous except when her witch-form skin breaks out into a bunch of crater-like pimples. The movie also features a lot of unmemorable strong-chinned men. There was a great amount of effort put into the texture of the film to make up for the lack of colour, and overall, it was really an exquisite feature.

photo credit: www.timeoutdubai.com

Top Ten (Scream) Queens of Nineties Horror Films

Because I can.

In order from aiight to the bomb to all that and a bag of chips, with nineties slang galore,  here are the top ten horror movie (and some tv) actresses of “the last great decade”.

10. Patricia Arquette

Patricia is/was a star for more mature teen horror lovers, yah know what I mean? She thrilled in Stigmata, Nightwatch, and everyone’s favorite series, Tales From the Crypt. Even though to some, she’s old school, Patricia is one of the few stars still relevant today.

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9. Drew Barrymore

Raise the roof for Drew who began her horror reign as a nine year old in Firestarter (1984). A little older, she starred in Waxwork 2, but really broke out when the Jiffy Popper died at the start of the first Scream movie. Word.

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8. Clea Duvall

You probably won’t remember her by name, but she has a very recognizable face. Her main horror movie of the decade was The Faculty, but she also starred in the tv version of Buffy. She put a few more horror films under her belt in the 2000s, and made a horror tv appearance later on in her career as Wendy in American Horror Story.

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7. Courtney Cox

Courtney’s only horror role has been as the needy, Sydney-pestering reporter, Gale Weathers in Scream (1-4). But don’t be a hater, she was such a popular tv star in the nineties (and eighties, and now) that she deserves a spot. Score!

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6. Sarah Michelle Gellar

OMG, SMG. Not only did she scream in both I Know What You Did Last Summer and Scream 2, she got to play a bad-ass beeotch in both Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel (tv series). She also was one of the few to continue on with the horror genre. Sarah Michelle was the shit in newer horrors such as The Grudge (2) and The Return. To top it all off, she lent her voice to the Call of Dead video game.

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5. Katie Holmes

Before she became a nutty cult follower and while she was making tough teenage decisions on Dawson’s Creek, Katie starred in Disturbing Behavior and Teaching Mrs Tingle, as a worried, but strong-willed brunette beauty. The Gift, in 2000, was her last attempt at a horror film.

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4. Rebecca Gayheart

Probably the most underrated actress of the nineties, chica is equipped with distinctively beautiful features and wacked eyes. Rebecca dominated nineties films such as: Scream 2, Urban Legend, Jawbreaker, From Dusk till Dawn 3, and most awesomely, a straight-to-video horror-western, mmmkay.

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3. Rose McGowan

Sensual lips and a Snow White complexion make the former girlfriend of Marylin Manson hard to forget. She acted in such films of the decade as Phantoms, Scream, and Jawbreaker, and later went on to star as a phat witch in the tv show Charmed and a gun-legged zombie survivor in Planet Terror. She will be showing off her mad plastic surgery in the upcoming Poe film, The Telltale Heart.

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2. Jennifer Love Hewitt

Although the, like, only horror films she ever starred in were, like, the two installments of I Know What You Did Last Summer, this was her, like, break-out role and what made her a house hold name. Most of her earlier and later movies fall into the romance or drama category, and she revived her career in 2005, starring in The Ghost Whisperer television series. Also, lets be honest here. We gotta give props to a scream queen with great boobs.

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1. Neve Campbell

Ohhh snap. Did you really think I’d go against the ways of the Universe? Not only did she star in all of the Scream franchise films, in the nineties she was also in The Craft and an episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark titled The Tale of the Dangerous Soup.

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